So I have been wanting to expand my blog into more personal stuff. This is totally scary, since I tend to be very picky with who hears my feelings. Most of the time, even when I do deem one worthy to hear my indepth, crazy, selfish feelings it always comes out so wrong. This is the main reason why I am absolutley head-over-heels in love with my husband! He knows me about as well as I know myself. HECK! He knows why I am feeling what I am before I even realize it. It does give my Soldier a bit of an advantage, but I am so thankful that he would never try to manipulate me.
Anyway, back to the original purpose of my blog. I find it silly not to bear all when that was my original intention. Sort of like therapy, I guess...
It has been a grand total of 3 1/2 months since Josh left for Bootcamp. I am waiting for it to go back to normal, and it wont. It will never be the same. A good friend told us that after a brief transition period, we will get back to our "new normal". This is one of the words of advice I focus on. (The other being, do not find solace in an Army wife or girlfriend that is unfaithful. I have been assured that they DO exist, but so far I have met nothing but wonderful wives. Thank you Jesus.) I dream about the day where this all just seems routine. Josh goes to work, comes home to his girls, and then Josh and I fall asleep in eachothers arms! I, however, am not naiive. I know there's a very good possbility that Josh will get stationed in Korea (which is unaccompanied) for atleast a year. I know that very shortly Josh will probably get deployed with his unit; I personally think it will be within the first year. These future "orders" are a reality. I am trying to come to grips with it. Either way, it will not change anything. If Josh gets deployed or separated from us, falling apart will not do anything. I can choose to focus on our girls, sending care packages, e-mails, letters to my husband, I have even contempated taking a class or two. Having a plan does NOT seem selfish or unloving. To me, it almost seems proactive. Proactive, how strange. I never thought about it that way before. It does seem to fit. Being proactive not only in surviving such a hard time, but thriving in it. Yes, that will be my goal in a time of adversity, to THRIVE! I can't lose! At the very worst, I will survive. I will have my girls, this blog and, of course, my Savior! Looking forward to getting to our "new normal". I check Josh's AKO everyother day.
Thank you!
Jamie, I really enjoyed reading your post! I can totally relate with you about being unable to adjust to the "new normal". I keep waiting for things to go back to normal too, the way they used to be. It's been almost 7 months now for us, and I keep trying to figure out what normal will be. Everytime I think about the future I dream about what it used to be like, and it's so hard to come to grips with the fact that it won't be like that, probably ever again! So blessed to hear your strength and positive outlook on all of it too! Keep your chin up girl =)
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