A NOVEL BY ITSELF

So... First I did not even remember the last time I wrote a blog. Turns out it was fifteen days ago, well in an hour or so it will be in 16 days. I am just so not sure why I just stopped writing. I mean this is supposed to be an outlet for me. A way to connect with people I otherwise would never had met! Just because I am focusing a little harder on my walk with The Lord does not mean I need to shut down and limit my access to the outside world. Well, kinda... How outside is the Internet? Seems we are all connected in one way or another. We are all sitting at the computer or laptop in the comfort of our own home, "peeking out the blinds at the neighbor (that'd be me) trying to decipher ever look or word I say" . The only plus sides are:, is it is at a safe distance.
And (my fav) I get final authority:
I get the extreme pleasure of spell check... I hate when I misspell words.
I have supreme veto power... so take that Obama lol.
I can decide who has access to my lil' ol' blog... not that I have the fear that this will someday become a must-read for thousands of people.
***WOW*** Just realized how selfish I was becoming. Check out all those "I's". Looks like my ego ran away with my fingers again. Oh well, what can one truly do about that? Acknowledge and press on. So that is what I will now do. I will go back to my original intention of this particular post and share whatever is on my spirit, heart and mind. Not necessarily in that order... :)
I used to walk down these dirt paths as a kid. I loved being outside and just enjoying the gift that God gave us. How can something so simple make us feel so close with God... It just boggles my mind sometimes. Anyway, back to my story. I could feel Jesus' hand holding mine. I knew wherever I went, God would protect me. I just had such Faith. It seemed so easy. Why would someone let themselves fall away from such peace? I was naive and a little harsh on those adults in my life. I began seeing everything as black and white... You truly loved the Lord, surrendered your heart and life to him, and stayed close to him FOREVER. And, if you should ever backslide or just give up all together, you probably never truly loved God enough to sacrifice EVERYTHING, and therefore, it was all an act. No I never shared these thoughts with anybody or criticized them (out loud anyway), but nonetheless, this is what I used to hold true to. If it was good enough for me, than it was good enough for EVERYONE to do.
My naive self had such little life experience. I did not fully understand the traumas life can sometimes bring you and how hard it is to recognize a problem by yourself, let alone step back onto the right path. Soon... Oddly enough, in my so-called "peak years" as a Christian, I began witnessing my mentors falling away, in one form or another. I told myself, I chose a weak person for a mentor and would chose an even spiritually stronger person the next round. After they all started dropping like flies, my OWN faith began being washed away by a slow steady rain fall. Not enough rain to make you become more cautious. Definitely not enough rain to seek help in fortifying the very ground I walked upon (spiritually speaking). I just focused on other aspects of my walk. I kept thinking, maybe if I prayed more, or maybe if I read my Bible more, or if I would have taking more notes in church. Never at the same time, by the way. Just focus on one at a time, if that didn't stop the rain (emotionally, mentally, spiritually) move onto the next. I was so unaware of the WHOLE process and how vital it was. I was using a scalpel, when all I really needed to use was a hatchet (Sorry had to do it :P ).
After I gave up stopping the rain, it took me a long time to scrutinize the potential damage being done by the rain. After a few years my little tiny stream, became a slow, steady river. Meandering down the lowest, quickest, and easiest route to the ocean. I did not foresee any crucial changes, so I persevered (or so I thought). I continued down the SAME path as before. Just getting my feet wet a little bit more. After a few years and a few huge storms: watching my sister rebel against our family, her getting in an accident from a drunk driver, finding out she was prego while she was her coma, having my dad unexpectedly die in the middle of the night (by far the biggest), I looked down and noticed I was knee-deep in what was now a mini canyon filled with water. I could have jumped out and changed direction to higher ground, once again, but I was in shock. I finally realized where this path was leading me, to deeper water. And my faith in man was at an all time low. I was afraid to ask for help and open up. I finally sought out the wisdom from my long time pastor. He gave me the tools and the boost up to get out of that canyon. I began down a parallel path, just this time, out of the water and uphill.
This is the time in my life when I would occasionally look down in awe of how far I had come. The path below me was now a wide and deep canyon. The walls were so high. Thinking about me continuing down that path I was on and looking down to where I would've been now gave me the shivers! It scared me to no end!
I got married to my wonderful husband and best friend. We had two gorgeous girls seventeen months apart. We had our own place, life was good!
Then hurricane season came and hit the Inland Empire of Southern California. My husband changed jobs for a better opportunity and that employer ended up losing everything. Promising to have more money next week. Having to hash it out with the bank trying to get rid of those overdraft fees the first couple times the check bounced. Having to rush right over to the bank and cash it before everyone else tried to cash theirs. Not being bale to find work in the construction industry. The fear of losing this modest life we lived. Having to make the crucial decision of paying rent or the truck payment (without the truck payment, no car, no work, no money, no food). Having to finally move in with the in-laws and let our truck get repossessed. Struggling for intimacy with four people (hubby, myself and our 2 girls) sleeping in a medium sized bedroom. Having to have mommy and daddy work opposite shifts (There goes that needed connection). Having to work Sundays (there goes that MUCH needed connection and fellowship).
Upon further inspection I realized I had veered down the hill I tried so desperately to climb to and fell right back into that same damn canyon. This time it looked like the Grand Canyon. Not that I have ever seen the Grand Canyon (yet anyway). I resigned myself to this new way of life and almost gave up completely. It was hopeless..... I was hopeless......

Then a bright spot opened up. Our Church had started a new couples Bible study "Love & Respect". It saved our marriage. It gave us a kid free time of adult interaction. It let us connect and support each other in ways I never thought possible. We began preparing our relationship for the hardships we knew and the hardships we did not know were ahead of us: AKA Basic Combat Training. We focused on The Word of God and Jesus' say on marriage and conflict.
Once again I was walking up that hill, but this time, I took an umbrella, my husband and a guide, my Savior. So when the rains flow, I will not lose my vision and I will follow my God. I am more determined now than ever!
I am here on Solid Ground! I am staking my claim on my spiritual happiness. I need You Jesus. Fill me completely. Allow me to feel worthy. I need to focus on your word and stand tall, head high, focused on where you are leading me.


"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" -Philippians 4:13


My walk with my Savior had become a slow scary path. Almost like a low spot that collects water when it rains. With each shower, a little bit more of my dirt was washed away. So slowly that in fact I did not even notice. By the time I had the first observation that the rain was ever so slowly eroding away the path I walked upon, it was so small I did not even bother with patching it up. It would have definitely been an easy fix. A little extra dirt, a few rocks and it would have all just stopped right there.
Instead, I let each rainfall come and go, come and go... without a worry in my mind. Prepare yourself for the coming storms. They are coming and will wait until you are not looking.
Thanks for reading my novel... (Sorry so long)
STANDING ARMY-WIFE STRONG,
Jamie Lynn Mitchell

LOCKDOWN

A little word of advice, I might not be too upbeat for this story. Consider yourself warned!!!

I get a call from my husband Thursday telling me he most likely wont be coming home this weekend with us. APPARENTLY, someone or someones shattered and broke the flat screen in the day room. No one admitted to it, so there are over 250 soldiers getting punished. They can not leave the company area. They have formation almost every three hours. LAME!

There are a lot of rumors. My husband told me that the soldiers are getting all this info from the "Private News Network". I ask him excitedly, can civilians join it, too. He laughs and says it again pointing to himself when he says Private! OHHHHH! :)

I am such a nerd sometimes. I pray and hope they get released from Lockdown so my Man in Uniform can come home this weekend. We got a lot of celebrating to do!
5 year anniversary on Thursday the 17th, Father's Day on Sunday the 20th, Makayla's 4th birthday on Monday the 21st!!!! I NEED him home this weekend... Please Ft Eustis, have mercy on the Mitchell Family!

Potential plans for this weekend:
1. Newport News Park (the girls can show daddy everything)
2. Beach
3. Pool Side at the hotel
4. Splash Park on base
5. Movie Theater (Shrek 3 or Toy Story 3)

Any other suggestions people????
Post a comment so I will know who actually reads this thing... Thanks....

I felt like I had not accomplished anything yesterday. So I made an itinerary for the girls and I. It is in no way iron clad. It is flexible, just like I am. It is a way to make sure I am passing the time here by AND living and enjoying here. This is my last chance to prepare Makayla for preschool. She already knows a lot and I am just trying to give her an edge. I guess I am just afraid that I was not a great teacher for her. So after an early nap time, I gave the girls popsicles and we ran a few errands. To enjoy the weather, in the low 80's, we went to Newport News Park.



It is so dang gorgeous!!! This is the second time I have brought the girls there. When we pick up Josh Saturday morning, I would like to have a BBQ, take the girls on a nature hike, and maybe even rent the paddle boats on the lake. These pictures are from my camera phone. Does not do the area justice! And they have some of the most friendly squirrels I have ever seen. And the BIRDS! Birds of all colors... Bright reds, yellow sand blues just gorgeous. And they are song birds. I have heard pretty sounding birds in the past in California and Arizona. But these birds make me stop in my tracks and just listen and smile!



They have these huge covered picnic areas, and it makes me miss my family. Makayla's 4th birthday is coming up and it would be so nice to see our family, friends, and church family all sitting around. BBQ-ing, laughing, and just enjoying each other. And of course celebrating her 4th Birthday. :) Her birthday is 4 days after our anniversary... FIVE years! :) So we are talking about keeping it intimate and low key... Maybe BBQ at the Newport News Park. Maybe go watch Toy Story 3... I just feel so blessed.

No Idea

So For the past couple posts, I was sort of intimidated. I am not sure how I feel about a few things, and to prevent sounding a little bipolar, or wishy-washy, I decided to go into the safe route with Lists and Surveys. Don't get me wrong, I think lists and surveys are both great ways to get to know someone FAST... But I am not looking to win a race or impress anybody. This whole blog is an outlet. It is a way to realize how I really think or feel about certain things. I am supposed to word vomit them out of my mouth in order to make sense of EVERYTHING in my head. So I would like to apologize now for not being sure how this blog will end and the twists and turns that may pop up.
To make a crazy long story short, I am now friends with my real dad on FB. The last time I saw him I was 10 months old. So, visually speaking, I only had 2 pictures of him from 1982 or 1983 (BEFORE I WAS EVEN BORN). My mom left him and gave him the choice to be IN our lives or OUT of our lives. She didn't want him in and out and in and out. I can't blame her at all. She gave him $20.00 and her pager number (NO! She wasn't a drug dealer, she was a medical carrier), and he didn't get in touch with us again until I was maybe.... at the very least, 10 years later. He called our house, my sister freaked out and my DAD (step dad) told him never to call back. AND he never did. I am not sure if it was courage or fear from either of them. But whatever it was, I have to believe that it was in the best interest of me and my 2 sisters.
There are factors I do not feel comfortable sharing right now. I know TECHNICALLY it involved or concerned me, but since I have never met my real dad, it feels more of his baggage (which I do not feel comfortable airing out for a few strangers to read).
I am all grown up. My mom met an amazing guy, they got married, he died suddenly (his left ventricle disintegrated), I got married, had 2 babies. I had a dad. I know it probably sounds a little harsh, but I did. No matter how unstable my real dad might have been over the past 23 years, I just pray that he finds peace. I do not in any way, want to go back. It is a little late to be my dad. But we can get to know each other and start from here. I am not ready to meet you. I do not deal well with conflict. I would prefer getting to know you through FB.
I have 2 girls. So that makes you a grandpa. But I do not think I am ready for that yet. I am just so unsure about a lot of things. I do not judge what you did in the past or present. I do have some hurt feelings and questions. I am ready to move on from those hurt feelings. I feel like I am even more stuck than before I started writing. So I will end and pick up later today.
Jamie
P.S.
Michael... This is a jumble of emotions and thoughts. Please do not read too much into this.

The Flip Side

1. Traffic
2. How there's always someone trying to drive up the side of the stopped freeway
3. Seeing accidents
4. Not being able to tell who is a good person and who is a bad person
5. DRAMA...
6. Living in a crammed room (a crammed hotel room sounds more appealing to me)
7. The yucky air... it is so true, I can almost feel the thick smog... so gross
8. How I took the people I love dearly for granted
9. Everybody thinks they are the shit
10. Having to work... Feels great to have the choice :)
11. Seeing my hometowns hills get knocked down for a housing tract
12. How hard it is to survive financially
13. The spoiled kids who think they can do or say ANYTHING because their family raised them that way!!!
14. Running into the same LOSER people still doing the same thing, NOTHING
15. The insane budget cuts to vital institutions
16. I just realized ALL of this stuff on my list can happen EVERYWHERE. I guess I better start praying to live in a small town!

Things I miss in California

Here is a list, not in any particular order, about what I miss most in California...

I miss....

*Getting authentic Mexican food 24 hours a day

*Getting the best, cheapest Chinese food AROUND! Cathay Chinese Food YUM! :)

*That fabulous dry heat, it can 110+ and not feel as hot as Virginia in the low 90's

*Having street signs on every stop light post, IN THE CENTER, where you can find out where you are going WHILE watching where you are driving

*I love how almost EVERY gas station has a working car wash

*Being an hour from the beach

*Being an hour from the mountains

*Being 2 hours from LA

*Being 1.5 hour from San Diego

*The speed limit on the freeways 70MPH

*The speed limit on busy streets 55MPH

*Seeing cop cars everywhere in their sweet Chargers

*Seeing those boys in those tight-girl pants (all sagging out here)

*INnOUT: grilled cheese animal style... to die for

*All those housing tracts... they feel like home to me now

*Del Taco (I haven't seen one anywhere on the East Coast)

*How we get like 10+months of sun a year, if not more

*Those really simple and straight forward on ramps and off ramps

*Not really needing directions, since you can see EVERYTHING!

*Being able to drive past our old family house and relive those memories

*Not being able to go ANYWHERE, no matter how far, without seeing someone you knew

*Nice people... Seems most people are rude and don't care

*Customer Service!!! Wal-Marts have always been bad, but out here it is way worse

*My family: Luke & Nessa are very missed!!!! :(

*My church family, been going to the same church since I was in 6th grade

*Those amazing parks everywhere

*Seeing my hometown evolve and expand

*Being able to smell a BBQ any day of the week

*My work: I loved helping customers, Lowe's ROCKS!

*Being in the grocery store and having every race, gender and type of person all on the same aisle

*How almost every car that had tags was fine to be behind on the freeway. Some cars are as bad as the buses!

*Taking walks, seeing people running/jogging all day

*All our man made lakes :)

WOW! That's it? It kinda felt like more? I personally think it all has to do with great family and friends. All the rest is just extras that I can live with out... Well maybe not the food. I love food!

Military Wife Survey

I decided it would be kind of fun to do a survey! Enjoy getting to know a little more about me...

1. How long have you been a military wife?

4 months, but a wife for just about 5 years

2. What branch of service is your husband in?

The U.S. Army

3. Active or Reserve?

Active Duty

4. What is his job?

Apache Helicopter Repairman

5. How many deployments have you gone through?

None yet

6. ACU's or Class A's, which do you like best on your man?

Both are sexy, but I have not seen my husband in his Class A's yet. :)

7. What do you like the most about being a military wife?

Seeing the pride and respect in my hubby's face.

8. Do you live on base?

Nope, he's still in AIT, but hopefully when we get to our 1st station.

9. What is your favorite base so far?

Well, between FT Jackson (BCT) and FT Eustis (AIT), EUSTIS!!!!

10. What is the hardest part about being a military wife?

Let's see: the loneliness, the eventual deployments, the hurry up and wait, orders first, how the sponsor has to do pretty much everything. Take your pick.

11. Do you go to the grocery store or the commissary?

Commissary, HUGE price difference.

12. Do you work or stay at home?

Thankfully, I am staying home for now. I am on a leave of absence.

13. Do you have a lot of military friends?

I would like to think so, although they are almost ALL online.

14. Do you orefer Wal-Mart or the PX?

Believe it or not, the PX is the same, if not MORE expensive than Wal-Mart

15. How did your husband propose?

He bought a beautiful ring, took me on a walk, had me sit on a table and close my eyes... I was in shock! I remember askinghim over and over again, are you joking? you sure? etc... Poor guy, he probably thought I was gonna say no.

16. Did you marry him before or after he joined?

About 4 1/2 years before.

17. How long have you been together?

Dating: 7+ years, Married: in less than 2 weeks, 5 years!!!!

18. Any kids yet?

2 pretty, completely opposite girls: Summer 2.5 and Makayla almost 4!!!

19. Any kids yet to come?

We so want a baby boy... But we are going to enjoy thi stime together...

20. Is your husband one of those (I am a soldier, hear me HOOAH) kind of guy?

Hard to tell, it's so new. He has a lot of pride, but I think once he gets to his new unit he will be. :)

21. Have you ever done combatives with your husband?

Not sure what you mean, but we were wrestling and I accidentally head-butted him.

22. How many bases have you lived at?

None so far for me... 2 for Josh (BCT & AIT) 3 more months!!!

23. If you could change one thing about the military?

The material on their Beret... The new Class A's (So ugly, I prefer the green)

24. Do you like military balls?

I have never been to one. I can't wait!

25. Where does your family live?

Hubby is in Virginia, but "home" is still Southern California... for now anyway

26. What do you do for your job?

My actual job? I work at Lowe's... I loved it and began missing it... :(

27. Have you ever gotten into a fight with a NCO's wife?

No... And I plan on never getting into a fight with another military wife. Let it roll off your back!

28. Name one thing you do when your husband is gone?

Try to take care of me and the girls. It's part of his job description, so I just try not to fall apart!

29. Do you think other wives do that, too?

I KNOW they do. You can fall apart, but it doesn't do any good, but release some tension.

30. What is your dream station, and your worst station?

Dream : Hawaii, or Germany Worst: Korea, or FT Drum

Happy Birthday!

So today is my best friend's 23rd Birthday! I wish I could just call her, but unfortunately she is out of the country. She was selected to be part of a ministry group in North Africa ministering to Muslims! I am so proud of her!

We grew up together and found solace from our troubles at the other person's house! I still remember the first time she invited my brother and I to go to youth group with her. It literally changed my life for the better!

While I got married, had two babies, and worked, she was going to college full time at California Baptist University. She would work at youth camps during the summer, or go traveling! She has been to Italy, France, England, Australia, New Zealand, Coast Rica, Thailand (on another ministry trip), and a few other places.

She is a bright, friendly, loving person whose laugh literally can change your attitude! **As an example, the morning after my dad died, I used a friends phone to call my boyfriend to pick me up after the PSAT's since my dad died. As I walk out the gate, I open his truck door and he looks at me like I am crazy. He asks what I am doing here. I tell him I need a ride home. He says sarcastically, "What did your dad die, too!?" And I start balling, saying, "Yea... I don't know what happened, he just died!!!!" So he dropped me off at my house without saying another word. Apparently, when I used my friend's cell phone, her last name made Ray think it was Saskia, my best friend, calling. So the word went around church that Saskia's dad died, not mine! :)
Yea it's a little sad, but you have to admit, it is hilarious!!!! So when I was talking with Saskia, I told her what happened, and she was busting up laughing! It got me laughing, as well. And then she gets a little emotional, saying, "Awwww... Ray would do that for me?" She was in such awe! Man, I love and miss her. So please lift her up in prayer as often as you can. She is an amazing woman of God. I am so damn proud of her, my little "Ruth"...

Once again, Happy 23rd Birthday, Saskia!

Loving and Missing You Girl,

"Idgie"

One Chapter in My Life

My husband and I met in high school. We went to the same church, but I had an "on again-off again" boyfriend. I was in no way interested in my husband, well at the time, anyway. To make a long story short, after my dad died unexpectedly in 2002; I began confiding in his sister, Christina. That girl literally saved my life. Not only did we crack each other up all the time, but she shared her entire life with me. She shared her clothes, make-up, hair stuff, family, room, even her bed! The best thing about our relationship, is I never had to ask to keep staying there. Her family has such an open and loving heart. It became a refuge from the grief. In a way, I guess I could pretend that everything was normal and my dad was still alive, and our family was still intact. While my mom was working 50+ hours a week, my sister was working 40+ hours a week, my brother was going to school and running around with his friends, and my other sister was busy taking care of her two kids and working, I could pretend that there was somebody missing me. Trust me, I know my family loves me to death, but when you lose somebody so unexpectedly like that, you almost become lost and blinded by the grief. I was hurting, a lot. I felt lost and alone. I was only 15 years old when my dad passed away on October 15, 2002. Thanksgiving and Christmas sucked! We tried our best to keep things normal, but it can never be the same when a family loses someone. At first, we all relied on each other for support and reassurance. Then, ever so slowly, we all started getting back to our routine of working and self-preservation. I even went to bed at 4am to get ready for school the night he died just after midnight. Some might think what I did was uncaring or cold, but I had my PSAT's the very next day. I had always wanted to go to college. As a side note, I am very smart. I am lazy, lol , but VERY smart. While everyone else struggled to cram for tests and do homework every night. I did the exact opposite. I would sit around, killing time, until we had dinner, then I would stay up almost all night talking on the phone with my "on again-off again" first boyfriend. I got several scholarships for my test scores on the Golden Sate Exams, which are still good until I turn 30. I stopped caring completely after my dad died. We had always struggled financially, and then without my dad, I just sort of gave up on college.
ANYWAY, after my dad died, I don't really remember anything, except the few school parties I would go to, and the ditching classes to do absolutely nothing. I am not sure when me and my first boyfriend broke it off for the last time, but I am 100% it was his choice. That is how it always was in that relationship. I think my biggest mistake was staying friends with him, because, eventually, we would get back together, and then break up, and then get back together, yada-yada-yada. So sometime after my sixteenth birthday I began falling in love with Christina's goofy older brother Josh. He was, is, and will forever be hilarious! He has the power to crack me up, no matter what! It was not until his brother threw him a birthday party and we kissed that I realized I might like him. He wanted to date me and I was not ready for that roller coaster called dating! So I told him to wait until I figure out if I am over Ray. The next 35 days were the happiest and the most frustrating. We began spending more and more time together, without Christina. He would ask me if I wanted to learn how to ride a dirt bike, so we went to the hills and tried to teach me how to ride his bike. It failed miserably, BUT we got even closer. I enjoyed finding out what my true feelings were for Josh. He has these Chocolate brown eyes that I just can get completely lost in. :) As the weeks past, he began getting upset with me. He got a little pouty when we would be hanging out. I even remember one time, he was sitting outside by the fire pit in a blanket, pouting! I was impressed that I could affect someone like that. And at the same time, I didn't want the drama. I wanted the carefree Josh that I was falling in love with. I was a little annoyed and at the same time excited. When I asked what was wrong, I remember him saying that he wanted to know and thought that he deserved to know how felt about him. He wanted to be MORE than friends and thought I did, too. I pretty much told him, give me some time. I will figure it out and if I kiss you, then it means I am ready for a relationship. So a few weeks passed by, and then one day, I headed up the stairs, went into the office, and said hi, and kissed him! :) And we have been together ever since!
Sometimes, I wonder if my dad were still here, if we would have ended up together, and I think we would. God designed us so perfectly, it is a little scary! We are in no way perfect, but we are perfect for each other! That man holds my heart in his hands, if he wanted to, he could easily crush it, instead he guards it with his life! He is my heart and will always be.
So sorry it is all over the place. Normally I try to organize, and hit all the topics in orders, but this is how my heart and mind work. Get over it! :)

Just a Talking to Myself

So I have been wanting to expand my blog into more personal stuff. This is totally scary, since I tend to be very picky with who hears my feelings. Most of the time, even when I do deem one worthy to hear my indepth, crazy, selfish feelings it always comes out so wrong. This is the main reason why I am absolutley head-over-heels in love with my husband! He knows me about as well as I know myself. HECK! He knows why I am feeling what I am before I even realize it. It does give my Soldier a bit of an advantage, but I am so thankful that he would never try to manipulate me.
Anyway, back to the original purpose of my blog. I find it silly not to bear all when that was my original intention. Sort of like therapy, I guess...
It has been a grand total of 3 1/2 months since Josh left for Bootcamp. I am waiting for it to go back to normal, and it wont. It will never be the same. A good friend told us that after a brief transition period, we will get back to our "new normal". This is one of the words of advice I focus on. (The other being, do not find solace in an Army wife or girlfriend that is unfaithful. I have been assured that they DO exist, but so far I have met nothing but wonderful wives. Thank you Jesus.) I dream about the day where this all just seems routine. Josh goes to work, comes home to his girls, and then Josh and I fall asleep in eachothers arms! I, however, am not naiive. I know there's a very good possbility that Josh will get stationed in Korea (which is unaccompanied) for atleast a year. I know that very shortly Josh will probably get deployed with his unit; I personally think it will be within the first year. These future "orders" are a reality. I am trying to come to grips with it. Either way, it will not change anything. If Josh gets deployed or separated from us, falling apart will not do anything. I can choose to focus on our girls, sending care packages, e-mails, letters to my husband, I have even contempated taking a class or two. Having a plan does NOT seem selfish or unloving. To me, it almost seems proactive. Proactive, how strange. I never thought about it that way before. It does seem to fit. Being proactive not only in surviving such a hard time, but thriving in it. Yes, that will be my goal in a time of adversity, to THRIVE! I can't lose! At the very worst, I will survive. I will have my girls, this blog and, of course, my Savior! Looking forward to getting to our "new normal". I check Josh's AKO everyother day.
Thank you!